………………….Attention all shipping attention all shipping……………………………….

And now time for the Loaghtan Loaded shipping forecast and reports from coastal and inshore stations.

Here is the general synopsis at 0700 GMT. Great conditions – let’s get biking……

And now the area reports:

South Sinbad , Forties – Onchan boating lake mild to even milder. Why bother? GKY.(Gay Kyaking)

Bazzar, Trafalgar – Coming on strong, storm conditions, but fizzling out later into a giggly mess if tickled. Rising.

Hobgoblin, Doombar – outbreaks of wind at times, good, bleedin great!!

Pete Mate, Malew Bight – Warning, just a warning, avoid at all costs.

Dover Sole, Callig, Halibut, Monkfish – Bond rods, regular outbreaks of wind, rain at times, good. Skippy cyclonic. North, South, East and Westerly all at the same time.

Hamish Rockall – occasionally good , sometimes moderate, smooth and slight.

Gadge, Biscuit – light flatulence, some rain, very good. But clearing, will not be seen for a few seasons once clear.

Crabtree, Irish Sea – sod all wind, heavy showers, absolutely incredible big shitter forecast, occasionally squally. Force 9 – Warning.

Bolty, Fair Isle, Cardigan, Pullover – wind south east, rain at times, slightly disappointing. Heavy bling.

Coops, Dogging – Starting out moderate but increasing to force 8 to 10 (after too many!!!) Intermittent but becoming stronger.

Rachel, Bailey – social diaries and cake variable, much time on hands, cyclonic.

And now the reports for lesser important coastal stations:

Kerruish and South East Iceland (best place for him) – wind, North West, 7 miles, one thousand and four, rising slowly. But not as fast as Rachel’s cake mix. Thermal warm spots over Cohnrenny, tyre burning, increasing.

Foxdale, Mid East – KOM’s sparse, as far as the ring road, Six six six, rising slowly. Then fading…ooops sorry we’ve lost communication…..hello???….come in Foxdale….come in…..please report……Sorry listeners we seem to have lost Foxdale……we’ll keep trying…..

And that concludes this morning’s shipping forecast.

Hamish Loaghtan