Riders :- Seamus, Sinbad, Gadge, Martin KoM, Foxdale, Ali, Liam, Pirate Pete, Pat, Coops, Pete and Paul
First apologies have to be made about a heinous crime that came to light tonight after Tuesdays ride, with the lemon drizzle being placed in Pete’s van for after the ride, when the remaining riders returned they complimented the baker, Pete took credit for making the cake when it was our own Mary Berry (Cat).
His punishment is to clean all the bikes on the next tour and share a room with Cam.
Tonight’s ride started from the ‘Cat with no Tail’ which meant it was going to be a familiar route. Once we eventually got going after Seamus pumped his tubeless tyres up and Gadge mended his lights, the group headed to the Clypse reservoir on the road, Coops having to stop for a comfort break on the way (an age thing). Along the Clypse track to Honeyhill, a quick game of making Liam ride into the hedge by the elders to teach the impudent youth.
Up Honeyhill which is a bit like tantric sex, (it’s okay but goes on a bit to long for enjoyment). At the top we realised we were over dressed for the surprisingly warm evening all of us sweating like Vanessa Feltz on a tread mill. Onto Conrhenny to have a look at the proposed route for LDLR 2014, Coops was back in favour after Tuesdays loop, normal service was about to be resumed……..how the feck (baring in mind we have been building this course for nearly 3 years) he managed to go into the trees at the wrong entrance only his pea sized brain will know…….what a cock!…..2 riders got separated Seamus going back to find them, not the wisest of choices, regrouping at the top of the Coanrhennie Rd, Seamus shot off like a Yorkshireman at a charity auction, at the bottom he confessed he got overtaken by KoM Martin. We had a rest here whilst Pete tried to replace a contact lens he lost at the top……which probably explains his riding style of bouncing off the sides……..Sadly he dropped the spare, we took a vote the ‘eyes’ won, it was time to move on as Baroose was next. Good luck Pirate Pete with his one eye, we set off like an excited blind lesbian at a Sushi bar, all riders made it safely to the bottom including Cyclops. (Baroose is the opposite to tantric sex, it’s all over in a couple minutes).
A sharp left down the track to Baldrine at the end there was a glow in the distance moving towards us, the skies opened letting the full moon guide the lonesome rider……it was Mary on her steel steed she had just nipped out for milk…..just the 72 miles then.
The road to Cowshit Lane and up to Enamona Rd provided time to try and knock each other off, back onto the Clypse track (bit like the X factor full of shite) to complete the loop ending at the pub.
During tonight’s ride Hamish Loaghtan had to stop to re-inflate his tubeless tyre, eventually seeing sense he put a tube in (unlike Coops the week before who wouldn’t admit defeat and persisted in pumping up the tyre every 10 minutes) turns out the white liquid had gone off in his rubber…….could be a metaphor for life.
‘It may appear that Coops is being picked on, this is because he is, but mainly because Kerruish hasn’t been out recently’