Riders – Gadge, Coops, Seamus, Sinbad, Orange Dunny, Cam, Foxdale, Will, Bazaar, Q and Pete
The events and names have not been altered to protect the individuals involved as they don’t deserve anonymity.
We were all surprised how many people Pete knows across, a lot of drivers beeping their horns and giving him a cheery wave as we drove down to Castleton YHA the base for this years tour in the Peak District, chosen on the time tested method number of pubs in the vicinity.
Once there like a well drilled machine the bikes were out of the custard bus and we were ready to ride within an hour and a half, except for Skippy who went for a kip.
We set off riding through Castleton noting the locations of pubs, Bazaar having to ride with a 20” inflatable friend being the current holder of the star rider award from last years tour. (Castleton is a chocolate box lid village very much in the mould of Foxdale, though it lacks a cash machine).
The ride went onto the Shivering Rd called so because of the way the no longer used Rd has broken due to seismic activity, though I think Bazaars arse may have more to do with it. A short climb and we were onto trails past Treak Cavern and onto Mam Tor. After a short breather it was onto a stone packhorse path to Hollins Cross, Sinbad bringing up the rear with his bright yellow special needs piss pot helmet, Q took the opportunity to try some of his new material out on a captive audience, the laughs could be heard all the way down………..no wait they couldn’t even the sheep had heard them before and carried on reading the latest sheep tales.
A descent down the path and onto some steps followed everybody taking it easy knowing that one slip would lead to the Inflatable Rut Slut changing hands from the one man wind farm Bazaar. On Rushup Edge the ride took a turn for the worse for Seamus blinded by his big shiny horn he fell straight into a peat bog….surely an early contender for wench from the trench. Happy in the knowledge that the ‘rut slut’ was taken Q took his eye off the ball and some how managed to fall over whilst walking with his bike, a clear winner for todays award. Annoyed with his stupidity Q was riding like a man on a mission overtaking on the left and the right just as he was reaching Mach 2 he shouted to Sinbad coming through on your right (Schoolboy error) ‘Special needs Shinpad’ quickly moved to the right blocking his line, Q was now livid, it was decided that such a manoeuvre was bang out of order and congratulated him on doing it.
With the temperature dropping it was decided to go back to base camp along the side of Eldon Hill Quarry and onto Limestone way, Coops got excited here thinking he had found a secret geo-cache in a field but as it could be seen on google earth it didn’t count, Q was still whinging like a Drunk at a Methodist meeting, still annoyed he set off down Cave Dale, a very steep rocky slippy descent………what could go wrong, at the bottom he hit a grass mound and bounced across the track on his cross bar giving himself nasty bruises usually seen on a stitched up suspect in the cells, he was now crying for blanky. (Guaranteeing that he won the award).
After making sure he was okay we rode past the impregnable castle (soon to be proven wrong) that shuts at 5pm and back to the YHA to wake Skippy up.
The award ceremony took place at night over a coffee………..nothing happened