Riders :- Coops, Seamus, Pete, Cat, Danny, Foxdale, Sunni, Gav, Maxx, Lee, Emma, Keith and Mark
The ride started from the Colby pub, regulars had an idea of the route before it started, Cat fluttered her eyelashes and said she had made lemon drizzle to try and change Coops mind but rule 28b means it can’t be altered.
Up Parville it was then, luckily it was dry, meaning we could ride up the middle avoiding the overgrown brambles though the odd shriek from Cat warned us not to stray to close to the edge, 3 ropes tied across the trail were another obstacle, at the top we stopped to regroup and check the impressive results of the exfoliation (much cheaper than Tracey Bells Clinic).
The climbing continued up Earystane, Emma and Cat proving the theory that women do have a third lung as they were able to hold a conversation whilst the rest of us were silent with our thoughts (the main thought was feckin Coops).
Throwing the bikes over the gate, Emma’s bike was carried by the blokes as she recently became a mother to Abe who was at home watching the England game explaining the finer points of the offside rule to Mike. Through the plantation to the next gate the silence only broken by the odd bawl from Cat who must have lost 3 lives up to now. At the gate Cat claims to have seen a meteor the rest of us thought it was the 16:45 Easyjet flight from Gatwick as a whining could faintly be heard though this turned out to be Maxx moaning about his caliper sticking. Whilst riding to the next gate Cat must have seen something else as she went totally off piste.
A quick ride across Lanagore the odd whoop in the darkness could only mean Cat had lost a couple more lives. We entered Cringle at the top of the Whisky Run and headed towards the climb to the picnic area, somehow Mark managed to rip his rear mech off, half way up Seamus offered to help with the words that spread fear in those of us with an unblemished record of heterosexuality…
“Are you comfortable Mark with a man doing this with this tool”.
Maxx was at the top and told to stay there as we were worried he would come down and give advice which would mean the bike being totally fecked. Whilst waiting Cat got cramp, she was now down to 3 lives left which was worrying as we still had half of Cringle to do, Coops nearly fell struggling to stand on a slight incline (though we ignored him as negotiations were taking place over the price of zip ties to get Mark on his way down the road).
We set off again minus Mark, skirting around the edge, the stillness and silence of the night was only broken by Emma and Cats third lung discussing Mary Berry, just before the reservoir Danny managed to go over the bars “who put that feckin root there”.
On the Tarmac to the Colby Rd Pete and Seamus had a quick game of squeezing my brake levers (children) at the junction the group and the ‘loose women’ (Cat and Emma) split up, we decided to go back down Parville, Cat couldn’t risk it having only three lives left. The rest of us hoped Coops had forgotten about the rope going across the trail sadly he remembered. Back on the road to the Colby pub which always has a good guest beer on and the lemon drizzle, as Mel and Sue had gone all etiquette went and the cake was carved up by the fist……..
A begrudging well done to Coops for the route, a good loop……..he was bound to get one right eventually!
Special thanks to Willie Corkill for his work in Cringle it rides really well!