Riders……many Neil and Ned
The ride started at Union Mills,looking at the bikes on show it was like a retro ride only one 29er the rest 26ers apart from Ned who turned up on his single speed BMX, still looked a little big for him. It was a clear night with a nip in the air (tora tora tora) we headed up Trollaby then onto Nab Lane at the top of the Nab we decided to inspect Neds paper round bike more closely, Will I am Nulty suggested that he must have got it cheaper as you don’t pay VAT on kiddies bikes, I have never seen so many colours on a bike and rider since the drug fuelled days of the Hacienda Club.
The ride down the Millennium was a hoot especially for Bazzar (the tart) who after barging his way to the front of the pack had to pull up half way down due to both tyres puncturing, with much concern we all rode past him laughing, Bazzar limped down to the bottom of the trail were a new game was created ‘speed tube changing’, on the front tyre the professional and expert in all things rubber ranging from JCB tyres to gimp masks, Neil K, on the rear the amateur and challenger Bazzar, the result would have been a dead heat but for Bazzar not bothering to seat the tyre on the rim (what a cock).
Once repaired we went down Bluebell lane, Cams turn now, he got a puncture at the bottom but managed to change the tube without a song and dance like the other two clowns.
A quick blast on the lines and up Seven Gates, Ned struggled going up, his newspaper bag weighing him down with all the supplements, Bazzar had another breakdown and a bit of a mental one as well, Neil K managed to mend it (he does have his uses) meanwhile at the top of Seven Gates Cam was still trying to get the right P.S.I. of air in his tyre after his earlier puncture; after wrecking two pumps he settled on using the air cartridge putting 220 P.S.I in.
Once regrouped we went onto Archallagan to do a few trails, Will managing to come off twice not seeing the roots (as there’s not many in there) whilst at the beer-can junction decided to self harm landing on his cross bar, we were all concerned for his welfare you could tell by the laughing.
I set off back to the urban sprawl that is Foxdale to look at the villages new attraction Catseyes which have been fitted on the new stretch of road, though the residents are still nervous of this magic and run back indoors when they light up.
As I rode off I could hear Ned cursing his BMX and next time he is coming out on his ‘Raleigh Grifter’.
Well done to Gadge on only his 2nd ride since the Peak District Tour in May, and to Coops who had a uneventful ride for a change on his Ron Jeremy sponsored Pixie Porno Blue Cove.
These blogs are only for a laugh but are meant to offend.